Blame my daughter for this one

Last night as I do from time to time I sat down with Sora and just talked to her before she went to sleep. We were just chatting about stuff and for some reason I asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up. She started to answer by talking about how she wanted to buy a house like the one in which we now live and some other things she wanted to buy. I interrupted (because I do that sometimes). She hadn’t answered my question about what she wanted to do or who even she wanted to be, she answered about things she wanted to buy. So I gently tried to correct her and convince her that it’s not about buying stuff but impacting the people around you. I talked about how it’s OK to want stuff but to not get too attached to those wants. I gave her the example of the Ferrari 458 Italia that I want but that I will never have – and that’s OK because I have 4 awesome kids instead.

And then we talked about what she was learning at church, it being Sunday night and all. After she told me she was learning to be a good person – a better Christian – I stopped her (a bad habit, I know) and told her how her father might be an idiot and COMPLETELY DISAGREES about going to church to be a better person. We then talked about who daddy believes that Jesus is and the people with whom Jesus would have hung out with if he was here today (the answer was he would most likely hang out with the kid that broke into our garage the other morning versus hanging out with the people at church). We talked about how it’s my thought that I go to church to learn about how better to help the people around me – how to show them love, how to help them, how to do nice things for them, and how to become wise in order to answer hard questions. Little did I know that I was setting myself up for a pretty massive test (spoiler alert: I failed). We chatted a little longer and then we all went to sleep.

So fast-forward to this afternoon. Since I have a little time off from work I’ve been playing the role of soccer-mom and errand runner. So at 12:30 in the afternoon with a sun-shiny 94F degree temperature and relative humidity well north of comfortable I was pulling in to the Target parking lot in order to pick up some cat food and cat litter. On the way in to Columbia Crossing I saw one of the pan-handlers in the center median with some sort of sign, obviously looking for cash. I see pan-handlers on that corner pretty regularly and I’ve come up with a completely asinine theory that there is a pan-handler cabal that actually collects all the profits from different corners here in Columbia and that the people I see out there aren’t actually homeless or destitute. And mid-thought I felt that warm and comforting embrace of Jesus’ love wrap itself around my heart and the Lord of Hosts softly whisper in my ear, “You’re an idiot. And a jerk. And you call yourself a Christian.”

I spent the next 30 minutes parking the car and shopping for pet products in a vicious spiritual battle with me on one side trying to explain that I really do love all of the people in the world and that I really do show them the love of God every day. On the other side was Jesus who really only said two words: Prove it. And so as I left Target I grabbed an extra $20 bill. I walked the cat litter and food out to the car and put them in the trunk. Then I walked across the parking lot, down the embankment and went up to the pan-handler and offered him $20 if he would come into Starbucks with me and have some iced coffee or water and tell me about himself. No judging, no ulterior motives. Just me acting like I think Jesus would and treating someone like a human being because they might like that. He could probably use some humanity.

No I didn’t. I got the pet products into my trunk and then remembered that my phone was at home and I was expecting an important phone call. I rationalized that as soon as I got home and got my phone, emptied the car, and checked my work email I would head back to Target. And I did exactly that. I also found that my phone was not at home, it was buried in my glove compartment. On the way to and from the house I tried to figure out what else I had to offer the pan-handler and what exactly I hoped to accomplish (I still am, actually) and I settled on “I’ll talk to the guy and trust that Jesus will help me figure out the next step.”

Unfortunately I suck (Captain Obvious Statement of the Day, right there). Yep, by the time I got back to the shopping center the pan-handler was gone. I even did a full casing of the complex and couldn’t find him. I was very disappointed with myself and now I have to tell my daughter that her well-spoken father with lots of good ideas can’t follow through.

But even though I sucked at being like Jesus today I don’t have to suck tomorrow. That’s the awesome thing about grace is that Jesus still forgives me and even better he knows that tomorrow I’ll have another spiritual battle and I’ll lose. I’ll head over to Columbia Crossing and see if there is someone else in need. I’ll even bring some contact numbers for the outreach ministry from our church as well as the $20 and good ideas.  And now I’m asking you to do the same thing.

You know where they are. You know how to find the pan-handlers. Take some time out of your schedule and go meet one. Talk to them and find out their names, if they are married, if they have kids, what are their dreams, where they are from, all the stuff you would ask a new coworker or… someone new at church. Just treat them like a person because that is what Jesus would do. I would ask that you don’t go on a full-court Jesus press. Just let them talk and end by asking if there is anything with which you can help. If they ask you why you’re doing this a simple, “It’s what Jesus would do,” will most likely suffice. Try to avoid talking. I’ll do the same and let you know how this works out on my end. I have no idea how this will turn out but at the very least there will be at least one person a little less hot and thirsty with a little more cash in their pocket to use for their needs. And perhaps I’ll have a little more humanity the next time I look at a pan-handler and start imagining that they are there because of any other reason than terrible circumstances.

Matthew Chapter 25