Why Billboard?

I just got back from a back-and-forth trip to Minnesota from Maryland. So before anything else I want to say “I miss you” and “Thanks” to my Mom and Dad. Now that the formalities are out of the way back to the posting.

During my trip across the country I saw ALL manner of billboards, bumper stickers, and advertisements and a couple of them really got me to thinking. “Lion’s Den Adult Emporium” made me think “Really? There’s a market for huge porn stores on the interstate in 2013? I thought those all died with the advent of readily available broadband internet.” Apparently not, since there are at least 4 outlets for that chain located along two different major interstate arteries. I also saw an old school multi-sign reminder to support gun rights. There were 5 signs with 1 line apiece with a little poem about a criminal breaking into a house and the owner stopping the robbery with a gun. Rural Indiana looks to be an NRA stronghold if that little display is any indicator. I also saw any number of anti-abortion advertisements, defense of traditional marriage billboards, lots of anti-porn billboards (oddly enough they were located right after the ads for the Lion’s Den), and any number of other ads supporting one side or the other of various divisive issues. And I started to wonder about what would possess someone to spend a lot of time, money, and effort to design, pay for, and erect a billboard to broadcast their position.

Since I was on the road for almost 36 hours over two days without a traveling companion with whom I could speak I had plenty of time to mull this question of “Why Billboard?” over in my head quite a few times. The simple answer is “because they feel really passionately about that particular subject.” I respect that answer and it adequately explains a single aspect of the question “Why billboard?” but since I’m of the scientific persuasion and I had the time I started to look for the ULTIMATE answer to the question “Why billboard?” and not the PROXIMATE answer because the answer of “passionate feelings” begs the question of “where do those passionate feelings come from?” And the answer I came up with was “from church”. Notice that I said “from church” and not “from Jesus”. [Good Christians that are reading this article, kindly pause right now and put aside your righteous indignation and finish reading the blog before you blow up my comments section. Thanks.] That distinction is VERY important to me for a number of important reasons. Let me list out those important reasons for you:

1. The homosexuals
2. The atheists
3. The women at the well
4. Assorted “sinners” of the world

Those particular people are very important to me because those are my friends whom I love. I love them dearly and see a clear tendency in “Christian” circles to attack my friends. This particularly angers me because, and read this carefully, JESUS WOULD NOT ATTACK THEM. I’m so sorry to break it to you but I can’t see Jesus gay-bashing, I can’t see Jesus slut-shaming, and I can’t see Jesus – even though he is GOD – indulging in elitism. And every day I see “Christians” all around me do those exact things and even have the gall to justify their actions with the Bible.

And because of those actions by “Christians” I have the hardest of times sharing the Gospel with my friends whom I love. Because every time I bring up “Jesus” my target audience goes into super-religious defense mode. It’s like they are battle-mechs with a big red button that reads “Wingnut Protection System” instead of “Missile Defense System”. That means even when talking about my reasoning for adopting my daughters – a relatively safe topic – I have to thread the needle very carefully because the moment I mention “it’s a Jesus thing” my friends’ hackles go up, missiles and chaff are deployed, and the conversation is very much in danger of being aborted.

This is because my well-meaning “Christian” friends have erected billboard-esque arguments that directly attack my beloved non-Christian friends’ lives.

“Homosexuality is an abomination” 

“If she wasn’t such a slut she wouldn’t be in that situation” 

“Atheists are stumbling blocks placed in the paths of Christians by the devil.”

In response to years upon years of being judged and hated my non-Christian friends rightfully are a more than a little skeptical anytime someone brings up the big “J” or “G”. In fact the more scientific-minded of them have already formulated a fantastic plan. That plan is to instantly throw up every single scientific, logical, and well-researched argument as fast as they can in the hopes that the crazy right-wing evangelical will go away. And it works all too well. Congratulations, Christians, we have taught the world to hate us. “But Greg, in John 15 Jesus says that the world will hate us, so we must be doing something right.” Wrong. If the world hates us because we are loving the people around us, healing the sick, feeding the poor, and bringing comfort to the masses I would agree with you. But THAT is not the reason we are hated. We are hated for being intolerant, hypocritical, and arrogant pricks and for being modern-day Pharisees.

We as a Christian church have become as legalistic as the Pharisees and religious leaders of the pre-Christian era Hebrew synagogues. We have exchanged the love and openness of Jesus for the legalism of Paul. We have stopped eating of the fruit of the Spirit and indulged in practicing the judgment of Revelation. And all of my non-Christian friends know it and that breaks my heart.

And we do it because it’s easier than loving our neighbor. This is the real ultimate answer to the question of “Why billboard?” It is easier to classify and judge our neighbor and then justify our actions than to reach out to them. “Gay sex is icky and I don’t like or understand it” is not a palatable answer in today’s world so instead we say, “Jesus forbade it” which is false. We write off the atheists as enemies of the faith instead of embracing them with love, joy, perseverance, and GENTLENESS. We are so scared of our daughters and sons growing up and being damaged by drugs, alcohol, and the very real fear of an unexpected child that we cloister our children and teach them that those other kids are on the pathway to hell and that our children are to be “in the world, not of the world.” That’s a polite way to say that we’re teaching our kids to avoid the very people WITH WHOM JESUS WOULD HAVE HUNG OUT.

So do not write off my statement of “We are hated for being intolerant and arrogant pricks and for being modern-day Pharisees,” as hyperbole or exaggeration. Go read the Gospels with a critical eye and substitute “Pharisee” with “Stereotypical Christian”. “But Greg, you said ‘stereotypical Christian. I’m not…’” Yes you are and so am I. There are stereotypes for a reason and as soon as we wrap our heads around the idea that we’re not perfect, we’re not the exception, and we’re not acting like Jesus the sooner we can start to undo YEARS of hateful religious dogma. Notice how I used the word “religious.” We’ve been religious and it’s time to stop. It’s time to start acting like Jesus and I think I have a plan to do just that. Project Mayhem.

With many apologies to Chuck Palahniuk I exhort all my Christian brothers and sisters to start an insurgency within their own churches. I’m not talking about creating yet another denomination. I’m talking about subverting your current church to start acting more like Jesus and talking less like a Pharisee (I see you squirm when you read that word. I’m not going to stop writing it.) I have no concrete plan, no tracts, no 3-step path to restoring the legitimacy of the Christian church in the modern world. But you can start by guiding discussions away from the “don’ts” (Don’t listen to rock music, don’t drink alcohol, don’t wear skimpy clothes, don’t watch Harry Potter) back toward the dos (Love your neighbor as yourself being the big DO, here). When your Christian cohorts start to say things like “I love my gay friends I just can’t accept their lifestyle” I want you to think really hard about how that sounds to someone who is truly in love with a member of the same sex. And then I want you to realize that JESUS WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. Look in the Bible. Find an example of Jesus saying something like that – ANYTHING like that – to anyone but a Pharisee. You won’t because Jesus, despite being God didn’t really judge the sinners. And he certainly did NOT gay-bash – and non-acceptance of the gay lifestyle is gay-bashing. (No, really. Imagine your friends didn’t approve of your hetero-marriage and reminded you of that each time you saw them. How long would you remain friends? It’s gay-bashing. Stop it.)

Outside of the church in your everyday life I encourage you to truly love your neighbor. Do kind things for them, love them unabashedly, help them out when they need it, take care of their needs, be wise and gentle in answering their hard questions. Instead of judging, comfort them. Instead of moralizing, rejoice in their happiness. Allow someone who is broken hearted to simply cry on your shoulder because you truly love them and empathize with them. This is Project Mayhem – teaching your church to love the unlovable, take care of the needy, feed the poor, and generally both act and preach LIKE Jesus and trying to do it yourself. It’s revolutionary.

This subject is of particular interest to me because of those four people groups I mentioned earlier. Notice how I used the term “beloved” and “love” when describing my friends. That is because the homosexuals, the atheists, the women at the well, and the “sinners” of this world have brought so much joy into my life. I love them all dearly not because they are in need of my saving message of Christ’s love but because they are simply some of the most fun, most intelligent, and most lovable people in the world. I want to spend eternity with them because they are just that cool and unless I can undo about 400 years of dogma-damage I’m not going to get that chance. I truly love my neighbor and want to see them in heaven and the way of getting them there is not to judge them, not to convince them with your bullet-proof theological argument (my atheist friends will SOOOOOO eat your lunch so do not even try), not to convince them of the error of their ways. The way to get my friends into heaven is the same way that Jesus convinced me 2,000 years ago: through his unending love and his absolute joy in ministering to the people around him. So help me out and be more like Christ. I have a lot of cool friends.